Economic Stagnation and the Disappearance of Hats

I'd like to start out by thanking the guys for inviting me over to say a few words that don't necessarily relate to anything about anything in particular. I'd like to assure everyone that any posts here will have the same level of quality, factualness, and proofreadingitude as on my personal page, that is to say, none whatsoever.

Now, to business:

The thing that has depressed me most about the most recent economic calamity has not bee the unemployment, the new crushing debts, the failure of financial institutions, or even the closing of Circuit City. No, it was my fervent hope that somehow the worst economic conditions seen in generations would bring back the sepia toned fashion sensibilities.

I take as my paradigm John Ford's classic film The Grapes of Wrath, which chronicles the trials of the Joad family as they make their way from Oklahoma to new opportunities in California. If you watch carefully, you'll notice that the entire Joad family, including Tom Joad played by the adept Henry Fonda, maintains an aura of fashionable dignity, despite the crushing depression of their lives.

Indeed, you'll notice that even while Tom is killing a guy, he's still wearing a buttoned up shirt, suspenders, and a hat, projecting an air of cool confidence as he crushes the life force out of someone. Sure, Tom is desperate, but he looks good.

Pictures of my relatives from that era echo a similar theme: despite having to eat squirrel meat and three day old bread, they, especially the men, were well dressed with a keen fashion sense. (Notice, please, that the next big slump in the American economy occurred in the 1970s with the rise of the "leisure suit"; I do not believe this to be a coincidence.)

What troubles me most about today, is that we men have slipped away from that nearly egalitarian fashion sensibility, where from 30 yards away the guy in the suit could equally be a banker or a ditch digger. Years ago the suit used to be that great uniform of Democracy: every man wore one regardless of social class, with only small variations and embellishments around the necktie and the hat (both of which have similarly faded away).

Today, those in suits are either going to a job interview or an executive, those in ties work for either the government or monolithic old corporations, and those in hats are judges or some sort of clown. Business casual, in my opinion, has turned us into lazy slackers, pushing the boundaries of acceptability to its lowest common denominator until we all look like pricks.

This assault on traditional manly fashion virtues must not be allowed to stand, and frankly, if we ever expect to get out of this economic slump, we need to be more Pa Joad and less Pa Choad.